Monday, October 24, 2011

The Irony of a Sunny Day!

Every morning my 3 year old daughter wakes me up by coming into my room and exclaiming "It's a sunny day!" That's her way of telling me it's light out and it's time to wake up. I usually look outside to confirm or deny her statement, then reluctantly roll out of bed.

Living in Minnesota, the sun may not shine everyday but we tend to be thankful when it does. I love my daughter's enthusiasm at the start of each new day, even though I wish she's sleep in like her twin brother does!

Truthfully, I wish I had her sunny outlook. I wish I didn't struggle with depression. When I am depressed, I can look at something as beautiful as a bright sunny day with not a cloud in the sky and hear everyone around me in awe of the beauty and know I should feel it too, but I don't. It's the same way with anything beautiful or awe inspiring. I know in my hear it must be something great but cannot bring myself to understand. It is as if there is a disconnect somewhere.

October is Depression awareness month and I wanted to write a post to help bring more awareness to the illness of depression. It is suggested that 1 in 20 people are suffering from depression. As a Christian, I often feel guilty for being depressed. I have a father who loves me and the promise of eternal life. I have 6 beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I have more than I need. I have, I have, I have.....depression.

It's now been a 1 1/2 year battle I've had with major depression , though I have had some level of depression since I was in college. I work hard to be healthy most of the time, except when I am the most depressed, then I don't have the energy to do much for myself or anyone else.

Depression is the dark shadow that follows me wherever I go. It's also a cimmerian cloud that looms ever near to me. Try though I might, I cannot escape it. It's like I took a wrong turn somewhere and now I can't find my way back.

For now, I try to live vicariously through other people like my daughter who sees and can appreciate the beauty of a sunny day. I just love her!

8 comments:

ariyana9501 said...

I just love you. I really love this song. Hopefully you can find some meaning in it somewhere.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dHsmlLvWQg

"Lil Ol' Me" said...

I love your posts.
I love THIS post.
You are so inspiring to me. As I've struggle and continue to do so....there is always something inspiring to me about your outlook.

Thank you!!

Gina Lind said...

Thank you both for your kind words!

DMM said...

Love this. Somedays its such a great lesson for me when I feel like my little ones have to teach me to find joy. It's like it's something my Spirit was born with, that this world keeps me from remembering how to do. Lucky to find my way to this post!

Leigh Turgeon said...

Hello,

My name is Leigh. I love this blog. I love your honesty. I feel we may have several things in common, including gorgeous young kids, the love of chocolate, the beach and the struggle with depression. Your exceptional blog deals with depression awareness and I know you are familiar with the importance of mental health. It is for these reasons that I contact you today.

I am ‘every woman’, the girl next door and the one you never would have suspected, however, for years I have been struggling with depression. I have written a book about my experiences entitled “The Blue Veil”.

Through this book, it is my aim to reduce the stigma of depression by increasing awareness of the issue. I am donating a large percentage of the proceeds to 15 carefully chosen mental health awareness organizations worldwide. I have provided the list of these organizations at the end of this email.

This is where you come in. I am organizing a 2 month long online book release campaign, structured around various depression awareness weeks around the world. It will be from July 1st to August 31st. My request is, during this period of time would you be willing to host me on your blog for a few days of those months? This can be carried out in a few ways:
-I would send you a couple/few articles that talk about my book and of course depression awareness. You would post these articles on your blog over a few days during those months (letting me know which days you will choose)
OR
-You could write your own prose about “The Blue Veil” and depression awareness and post these articles on your blog over the course of the months (letting me know which days you will choose).
Now you may be wondering what is in this for you and your blog? Well, I could provide you with a free version of “The Blue Veil”. You could also review the depression awareness organizations, which I will send to you, to see if there is one you would like to be included and I will certainly look into it.

More on “The Blue Veil”:
Up to 58 MILLION suffer from it in the US alone, and VERY FEW talk about it. Is it your friend, colleague or neighbor? Now, finally, ‘The Blue Veil’ brings a modern, raw account of depression. Read it and understand your loved ones better. Be assured that no one is alone.

``Leigh has everything going for her when the unthinkable happens. She loses control of her own emotions and everything in her life begins to slip away. With a marriage strained to the brink, the loss of her father, fertility issues and the loss of her job, will Leigh be able to move beyond The Blue Veil and take back control of her future?``

Thanks so much for your consideration and efforts. I understand that you are busy, so I wanted to express my sincere gratitude. It is with great respect for you and your blog that I write this email and it would mean so much to me to have your readers aware of my efforts.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at any time if you have any questions regarding my request.
Sincerely yours,
Leigh Turgeon
email: leighturgeon@gmail.com
Twitter: @leighslead
The Blue Veil Blog http://behindtheblueveil.blogspot.ca/
FB Page The Blue Veil https://www.facebook.com/TheBlueVeil
FB Page Leigh Turgeon https://www.facebook.com/LeighTurgeon
1-613-794-4657

Aimee said...

Hi Gina ~ my email has not been working correctly and I wanted to check and see if you've been receiving my emails. I happened to find your blog and thought I'd try to contact you this way! Could you please email me regarding your sign? aimeeweaverdesigns@gmail.com. THANK YOU!!

White Lace and Promises said...

I'm so glad I found your blog. I am seeking to find other Christians who struggle with the ongoing malady of depression. I have been blogging vintage, junkin and pickin for over a year now. In November I had a breakdown and I'd like to find others who are struggling so I did a search and found you. I want to follow you. I notice it's been awile since your post and I understand that too. That's the way depression is with many ups and downs, beginnings and ends, happy and sad, starting and not finishing. I hope you will have time to pick this up again and follow my blog. My blog is White lace and Promises-more Promise, less lace. I had 3 comments and none on my last entry so I'm trying to find a circle of Christian friends who can relate. I hope you'll find me and follow. My journey may be similiar.

White Lace and Promises said...

I daughter has been trying to conceive for 6 years. Her husband had testicular cancer and 2 surgery. After 8 IUIs and a miscarriage and a strong faith that has been shaken to the core, she is beginning to consider adoption. I really hope we can connect.

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