Tuesday, September 13, 2011
It's been way too long. This depression thinks it's gotten the best of me and perhaps it was true at one time but I've had it! So much of my day is spent trying to be healthy and if I'm honest, I'm still somewhat depressed. My therapist says I'm functioning at 60%. On one hand, I feel validated that I'm still a long way from good health considering how I feel. On the other hand, I can't believe all the energy I've put into being healthy for just 60%!
I'm no longer willing to put my life on hold for this illness. I'm moving forward with my life. I will continue to eat right, exercise, take medication, go tanning, see my doctor and go to therapy. I just received word from my doctor that my Vitamin D level is abnormally low. This is good news because it can be a contributing factor to my depression! It can be managed with high doses of vitamin D. So I'm moving forward with hope.
In fact, I have decided that I want to continue doing what I am passionate about, and that is working in the field of adoption. I was the director of an adoption agency in Indiana. I want to start my own agency in Minnesota. That's quite an undertaking, I know. I'm going to have a 2 year timeline to start my business, which will be a not for profit. I've secured childcare for 2 half days a week which will allow me to research and begin planning.
I feel so optimistic! School has started for my children and I have high hopes for the year ahead. I'm working on being a better mom, wife and just a better person.
Jesus, help me to be your servant in all I do. Direct the path for my future. Heal me completely. Amen