Monday, January 31, 2011
I sat in a twin sized hospital bed next to my daughter who had RSV (Respiratory Sensitial Virus) and held her close to keep her warm as she was shivering from fever. I listened to her every sound and the whirring of machines as they aided my sick child in breathing, hydration and monitoring of all things medical. Whenever my kids are sick or hurting, my strong 'mama bear' instincts to protect come out. I will do whatever I need to do for them.
Later when she was feeling up to it, I sat in a chair in the corner of the room and watched her color. I literally let myself relax for a few minutes. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bed shaking back and forth. I sat up and looked at Rya and saw that she had curled into a fetal position deep under the covers and was shivering! I said "What's the matter honey" and she said "I so very feezing!" That was the beginning of a scary couple of hours. 'Mama bear' went to work advocating for and protecting my sick babe.
Her fever was up and medication was administered. I crawled back into bed with her, using my body to keep her warm. 45 minutes later her temperature had risen higher despite the tylenol so the doctor was called and more medication was given. They needed to turn up her oxygen. I began to lose that comfort I had in knowing I was in the hospital. and not 30 more minutes went by and now she was like a rag doll moaning and breathing very fast. It took 14 minutes(yes, I counted) to get a nurse to heed my call for help. Wouldn't you know it was shift change! The mean mama bear in me wanted to come out but the Christ follower in me woudn't let it. This time her fever was at an all time high and she could conceivably have a seizure at any time.
Amidst my panic, I had this moment of clarity. I felt a peace because she really isn't mine, she's on loan to me from my heavenly father. He loves her infinately more than I could ever fathom. I felt like God was asking me if I trust Him.
It took some time but they were able to get things under control. I don't know about you, but I don't do very well when my kids are sick or hurting.
There's been a lot of that at our house lately and I feel like God's been asking me the question about trusting him a lot lately. I'll be sharing more in the days and weeks to come about that.
I'm a visual person and as I ponder this issue and all that I am struggling with related to my children, I can invision myself laying all of these things at the feet of Jesus, knowing he's more protective of His children than any mama bear could be. Now I just have to remember not to take them back!
Thank you Lord that you have blessed and entrusted me with 6 children. Help me each day to be more like you. Give me wisdom and patience when it comes to being a mom. Draw my family closer to you and to each other. Help me Lord to trust you more.