Monday, January 31, 2011

Mama Bear and Trust

I sat in a twin sized hospital bed next to my daughter who had RSV (Respiratory Sensitial Virus) and held her close to keep her warm as she was shivering from fever. I listened to her every sound and the whirring of machines as they aided my sick child in breathing, hydration and monitoring of all things medical. Whenever my kids are sick or hurting, my strong 'mama bear' instincts to protect come out. I will do whatever I need to do for them.

Later when she was feeling up to it, I sat in a chair in the corner of the room and watched her color. I literally let myself relax for a few minutes. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bed shaking back and forth. I sat up and looked at Rya and saw that she had curled into a fetal position deep under the covers and was shivering! I said "What's the matter honey" and she said "I so very feezing!" That was the beginning of a scary couple of hours. 'Mama bear' went to work advocating for and protecting my sick babe.

Her fever was up and medication was administered. I crawled back into bed with her, using my body to keep her warm. 45 minutes later her temperature had risen higher despite the tylenol so the doctor was called and more medication was given. They needed to turn up her oxygen. I began to lose that comfort I had in knowing I was in the hospital. and not 30 more minutes went by and now she was like a rag doll moaning and breathing very fast. It took 14 minutes(yes, I counted) to get a nurse to heed my call for help. Wouldn't you know it was shift change! The mean mama bear in me wanted to come out but the Christ follower in me woudn't let it. This time her fever was at an all time high and she could conceivably have a seizure at any time.

Amidst my panic, I had this moment of clarity. I felt a peace because she really isn't mine, she's on loan to me from my heavenly father. He loves her infinately more than I could ever fathom. I felt like God was asking me if I trust Him.

It took some time but they were able to get things under control. I don't know about you, but I don't do very well when my kids are sick or hurting.

There's been a lot of that at our house lately and I feel like God's been asking me the question about trusting him a lot lately. I'll be sharing more in the days and weeks to come about that.

I'm a visual person and as I ponder this issue and all that I am struggling with related to my children, I can invision myself laying all of these things at the feet of Jesus, knowing he's more protective of His children than any mama bear could be. Now I just have to remember not to take them back!

Thank you Lord that you have blessed and entrusted me with 6 children. Help me each day to be more like you. Give me wisdom and patience when it comes to being a mom. Draw my family closer to you and to each other. Help me Lord to trust you more.

Monday, January 24, 2011


Life is flying by in what seems like fast forward! My third born child, Sterling, is turning 14 years old today.

It truly feels like yesterday when he was in love with the musical 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat'. We owned a video of the play starring Donnie Osmond. Sterling was 3 and he knew every word to every song. He would act it out wearing a homemade loin cloth and his pajama pants on his head for an Egyptian head dress. At the age of 5 he had his first ever theater roll as a sheep in the play 'Joseph'. He has been regularly performing in theater since that time.

I am always a proud mom watching Sterling transform himself into the newest character for the next play. I love attending the performances and love hearing the stories of the fun he has back stage almost as much!

Ever since Sterling started school he has reminded me of Norm from the television show "Cheers". Whenever he walks into a room, without fail, multiple people yell "Sterling!". Unfortunately, he doesn''t know who Norm is. I recently was watching him in a choir performance involving many choirs. As Stering's group walked on stage, I told my husband "Wait for it..." and then the familiar "Sterling!" came from the crowd.

He's the class clown, big hearted, witty, hard working, and very capable with his younger siblings. There's never a dull moment with Sterling around!

He has always been very affectionate towards me. When he was little he would give me compliments like; "You are the most beautiful mommy in the world" or "That shirt is very pretty on you!". Today, I have to work a little harder to get a compliment out of him but it is very obvious that he loves me.

I had several very scary complications during my pregnancy and the birth of Sterling. I often look at him and am so thankful that I have him in my life. Phillipians 1:3 Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.

His effervescent and exuberant personality occasionally needs to be reined in, but you really can't help but catch his zest for life if you are around him.

Happy Birthday Sterling, you make me smile and I love you for everything you are. ~Mom
Luke 12:7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Experience

I really try to be a good mom. Sometimes I am focused an all the things I "have to" do and forget to have fun. Every once and a while I'll let my kids help me cook. Today I let 2 almost 3 year olds help me make chocolate chip cookies. It was a bit crazy in my opinion, but certainly not in theirs! They cracked eggs on the counter, they started the mixer while I was on the phone, and they made a total MESS! They were having a ball.

Roman has this certain giggle he does when he's especially happy and I heard it several times today. I just melt when he does that! Rya was singing 'I am beautiful' by Christina Agulera. Hannah taught it to her and she sings those three words over and over. I love that she sings all the time and that she is confident in herself!

I actually let them put the ingredients in the bowl for me. I would normally get flustered by the chaos and the mess. Today I felt like I was gifting them with a great memory. I let them eat the cookies fresh out of the oven and they managed to get chocolate all over their face and clothes. They didn't have room for lunch because of all the cookies they'd eaten and I didn't feel one bit guilty, after all I was making memories!

They went off to play, dirty faces and all while I cleaned up the mess feeling happy and fulfilled as a mom.

I'm going to have to do that more often.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Time keeps On Slipping..

It's true what they say about how quickly time flies. 18 years ago I became a mom, and in what seems like the blink of an eye she is an adult!

I remember everything about my labor and delivery with all my children. I love how when women get together they like to share their stories in what sometimes can be a contest to out do each other. "Oh yeah, well I pushed for 2 1/2 hours and then I had a 3rd degree tear". True story and I apologize to any men who are reading this. It's like our badge of honor. We have to talk about it.

When she was born we thought every move she made and every breath she took was awesome! When she started talking, her high pitched voice was so sweet. She was so tiny and started talking early, people started calling her 'the baby that talks'.

From the time she was little she has been fun and full of drama. She is the person in our family who can make us laugh even in the worst of times. She knows how to laugh at herself, which is great. She is compassionate and wonderful with children. In many ways she reminds me of myself but then in other ways, she possesses qualities that I can only dream of having.

I wanted to write to Hannah from what I wish I knew when I was younger. Some things I've learned by my own mistakes and some I've learned through other people. She has given me permission to share it with you.

Dear Hannah,
I can remember being 18 like it was yesterday. It was fun being somehwat independent and scary trying to make choices for my future. It was also scary being on my own at school without my parents. My college years were some of the funnest times in my life!

I love that we can talk openly about things but I wanted to write and tell you a few things. Right now you have a million different options for your future. We want you to choose wisely. Do something that you love as far as a career. Do NOT chose based on what you think we may want you to do. Our only desire is that you find something that is fulfilling for you.

When you are looking for a potential life mate, there are a few very important things to remember. Look at his family because they will be your family too. Watch how he treats his parents, especially his mom as this is a good indicator of how he will treat you. Choose a Godly man and one who is spiritually as strong or stronger than you. It's good to have someone who makes you laugh. Life is hard and laughter is good medicine.

If he is mean to you now, it will only get worse in the future. Walk away. If he even dabbles in pornography, RUN fast!

Don't be in a hurry to have children. Make sure you and your husband have time together as a couple first. As you know, my parents taught me the value of having frequent "date nights". It has been such a good thing for us. I hope you can do that too.

Ask another couple who have been married longer to mentor you and your husband. Do not be afraid to seek wise counsel when needed.

Work hard, and play hard. Both are important. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Make Jesus your first priority always. Seek ways to learn and grow in your faith. Make good Christian friends who challenge you in your faith.

I'd like to say don't move far away for selfish reasons but honestly, it was the best thing for your dad and I as we didn't have anyone else to rely on but each other. It is one reason why I think we have a strong marriage.

I love you and look forward to watching you bloom as a young woman. I'm very proud to call you my daughter. Love and hugs, Mom

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Gift of Today

One of my fellow bloggers Joanne at The Simple Wife is fighting for her life as I write this. Her husband has taken over writing her blog(very beautiful and touching) so the rest of us can be kept informed of her condition. In her last post, she is laughing at herself for forgetting to open the flue on the fireplace and setting off the fire alarm. I can relate as it's something I would do! It was just a normal day and little did she know what tomorrow would hold.

None of us knows what tomorrow holds. I'm sitting here with my twin two year olds as they are playing. There are huge snowflakes falling from the sky and there is a fire in the fireplace. There are a dozen things I should be doing, yet I feel the need to bask in the beauty of the moment.

It makes me think about what my legacy would be if today were my last day here on earth. I'm not satisfied that I've loved enough, taken advantage of every growth opportunity or truly enjoyed every moment. I want to be more passionate and purposeful in living.

I can get caught up in the little stresses of daily life rather than the gifts of ech new day. It's all in how you look at it. My toddlers make me laugh hundreds of times each day. My husband still thinks I'm beautiful. My teenagers actually like me. Do you know what a gift that is?

I'm praying for my sister in Christ, Joanne and everyone who loves her. I'm thankful for the gift of her words and her example through her blog.

My teenage daughter came home and asked if I would drink diet Pepsi, eat soup and watch crime shows with her this afternoon. I think I'll add some peanut butter M and M's to the mix and call it a perfect afternoon!

Thanks Lord for the gift of today. Help me to embrace each day and to live my life fully for you.