Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I am usually in fast motion. I do everything quickly. That is not how I would describe myself at this time. I continue to have little energy and on the days when I do have energy, I lose it after only a little while.
I am excited that the energy is coming back but wish it were not so slow in coming. I feel like everything I do right now is at a turtle’s pace.
As I was likening myself to a turtle in my mind, I began to think about what a turtle represents to me. They are slow animals and the word slow is not in my vocabulary so they represent patience. Ugh! That’s a tough one for me! Once, a long time ago I prayed that the Lord would teach me patience. I’m a slow learner and God continues to place me in situations where I can learn to practice patience. Admittedly, I still have a LOT to learn, as patience is one of my greatest downfalls.
Webster’s dictionary defines patience as an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow recovery. Another definition is; to not become angry. Anger is a direct result of impatience. I know this too well.
God is incredibly patient with me. If He wasn’t patient, I would be long gone. He is my ultimate example. My husband and my father-in-law are wonderful human examples of patience. I can learn a lot from them.
I’m feeling a lot of conviction. Many of my emotions right now, I can’t control, but I am able to control my responses to those emotions. I will be patient because it is clear to me that God is using this very difficult experience to teach me, strengthen me and heal me. In his time.
The Bible teaches:
*But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
*I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry.
*Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
I'm overwhelmed with the knowledge that I matter so much to God! He is molding me with care like the potter He is. It is His desire that I become more like Him. It is my desire to please Him.